March 2002.
HER SILENCE IS KILLING ME
Another edgy ride home after a bad game. In the rearview mirror I see my daughter avoiding eye contact.
We’ve done this ride before.
I give her space. I know the drill.
No matter what I say, it’ll be the wrong thing.
But I ask, “How you doing kid?”
Her frustration erupts from the backseat:
“My life sucks. I’m no good. I don’t care. I want to quit.”
These words unleash a storm of hurt deep within me...
My DAD NEVER MADE IT TO A GAME
He was always too busy to sit through my activities.
So my mom would support my sister and me. After bad games, she would comfort us, giving us so much encouragement we never felt awful for long.
And how I wish I could ease the sting for my kid right now.
But here in this car…
I FEEL LIKE A FAILURE
These past months have been the worst of my life.
I lost my job due to 9/11.
I'm barely making ends meet with the 4 part-time jobs I've pieced together.
I feel so broken and embarrassed I tell only my family how I'm finally training to learn hypnosis and Neuro Linguistic Programming.
They urged me to “quit the training, now’s not a good time.” I almost do. But something pushes me forward.
You see, I’ve always dreamed of impacting people’s lives, but never had I imagined that my most important client would be my own daughter...
YOU
GOT
THIS
THAT CAR RIDE HOME
hearing my daughter scream “I want to quit!”
It hits me.
Those are my thoughts - spoken from her mouth.
I want to give up too.
But her future is at stake.
I can’t give up on her, we can’t lose.
Even as the world is crashing down around me
I’ll stay strong and make this work. For her.
I say to myself, “you got this.”
My daughter hears this and goes silent. She locks her eyes with mine in the mirror.
The fire in my belly stokes back to life and I see clearly for the first time in years.
How we communicate with ourselves determines how we perform.
IN THAT MOMENT I MAKE A PROMISE
to myself that I will help my daughter master her inner game.
We’ll figure this out together.
From that day on I use the tools from my NLP training.
As we're practicing baseball at the park every day, I'm learning how to listen and talk with her effectively.
Our bond deepens, our communication and relationship is becoming healthier than ever. I’m excited watching her growing stronger, more resilient, getting better with every game.
I catch myself thinking “This stuff works, it’s almost too easy!”
BUT NEGATIVITY IS CONTAGIOUS
and there are days where the tears come, one of us makes a mistake, or practice turns sour for a bit. I quickly discover it’s not just us.
I hear other teams melting down, throwing tantrums, and back-talking the coach. I watch players shut down inside from self-doubt.
My heart breaks for these kids on the field who’ve lost the love of sports.
Other parents see it too, but they’re lost on what to say. Their helplessness is overwhelming. So I share what’s working for us.
During water breaks, they try it out and we watch their kid turn things around.
The smile, the concentration, the spark comes right back.
WORD GETS OUT
Soon parents are finding me before practices, asking questions as if I’ve got the answers. I don’t know if I do, but I try to help.
I share my method and an hour later they come back in shock with a success story. Even I’m surprised at first.
I'm stunned when parents ask if I can work with their kids.
So over the next few months I start helping kids clear mental blocks, develop a positive outlook, and overcome inner obstacles.
THEN ONE DAY A PARENT TELLS ME
"You know, Mike... you're like a Mental Block Doc."
My face lights up and I say "Wow, I think I'll use that!"
So I run with it. Best decision I ever made.
Summer 2008
I SNEAK TO MY DAUGHTER's GAME
as I step up to the third baseline fence, the bases are loaded and she’s at bat. I feel my stomach dropping as the pitcher hurls the ball toward my daughter.
Confident and focused, she smashes that ball. Years of overcoming challenges shaped her into the resilient young woman she is today.
The ball screams through the air and smacks the back fence! As she’s rounding third, I throw my hands to the sky, our eyes connect and she just runs and smiles.
Crossing home plate with an in-the-park grand slam, we all cheer and go wild. The feeling in the air is absolutely electric.
We did it!
After all the fits and pressure, the nerves and doubts…
I know in that moment, she’s won her inner game.
It’s the proudest moment of my life.
TODAY, I HELP ATHLETES AND PERFORMERS
to become confident, resilient young adults who excel on and off the field.
I’m driven to reprogramming the beliefs and attitudes limiting peak-performers to develop stronger relationships, cultivate unbreakable confidence, and win coveted scholarships so they can reach their fullest potential.
I believe every parent can be their child’s most important coach and I know powerful communication is the way.
You never have to suffer in silence when you have a winning inner-game plan.